Caring for Others is REAL WORK
And it takes Time to Care
My fiancée needs help, and that takes TIME. She struggles with Alcohol Use Disorder, but it’s not her fault. She has a genetic predisposition to drink too much, and our society doesn’t help. After all, there’s a liquor store within walking distance of our apartment.
Nonetheless, she does not “deserve” to be abandoned and written off as a “lost cause.” When she’s sober, she’s an angel. And she works hard for others.
For example, it’s REAL WORK to listen to my incessant rants about bullshit jobs and the yoke of managerial feudalism. It takes sustained focus and patience. And it’s even more work to calm me down. Very few people can tolerate my presence for more than a few hours, much less live with me. It takes a spine of steel and a heart of gold. Needless to say, I’m blessed to have her in my life.
In addition to serving as my chef, executive assistant, and therapist, She works as a Certified Nursing Assistant. She does REAL WORK, unlike many of her overseers. Her work genuinely helps people rather than coerce them to do the bidding of their Corporate Overlords. She cares for the elderly and works to ensure their transition from this life is as comfortable as it can be. She develops real relationships with many grandfathers and grandmothers, only to see them pass away into the afterlife. At times, it can be a dirty and depressing job.
Yet, our rigged political economy irrationally demeans her with a low price tag while simultaneously classifying her as an “essential worker.” She’s highly essential but lowly rewarded for her efforts and sacrifices. And that’s bullshit.
She needs TIME and an advocate like me to help mobilize and organize her co-workers to demand higher pay and better benefits. But this Anti-Social System strives to suffocate us in a sea of sludge work. It taxes our time and saps our spirit to rebel.
Nonetheless, my fiancée doesn’t have the indomitable spirit of anger and resentment that I have. Despite her low status and pay, she doesn’t want to “blow up the system.” She just wants to love and be loved. That’s it. Nothing more.
On the other hand, my righteously indignant ass wants her to be MORE than loved. I want her to be damn RESPECTED. I want her to be acknowledged for her “essential” work by having the right to safely and practically demand higher pay and more time to prioritize HER dreams over the wishes of her Corporate Masters. And I don’t give a damn if her dream is to simply lay in bed all day and watch TikToks. So what? At least she’s not trying to enslave and pillage the planet. She just wants to Rest and Relax. There’s nothing wrong with that. Leave her be.
I love her more than she will ever know. For without her, I would not have had the opportunity to write these words on her behalf. She supports me emotionally and economically. She is the cheerleader I’ve always wanted and needed.
Unfortunately, however, she can’t stop killing herself with that inebriating poison, especially when it’s sold on every street corner. And this demeaning Anti-Social System does not help. She needs TIME to spend with her friends and family, and we need TIME to help her stop drinking. For it takes a village to keep us healthy, wealthy, and wise.
